Ever since my older sister went on a mission, I always knew that I would too. All my friends in High School knew that I was going, and I often expressed it would be Spanish-speaking (I took a couple years of Spanish and really wanted to learn the language better). When I was 18 and on my own for the first time, I bought my very own "Preach My Gospel" and had alot of excitement to give away three Book of Mormons that year. I made it a tradition to give away at least one every year since, and have followed through since. As the age of 21 began to approach, the decision to go didn't feel quite as right. I took Mission Prep at BYU and felt still felt the same. Through much prayer and many priesthood blessings, I have re-evaluated the decision. I have gotten to the point that Heavenly Father has let me know that he will support either decision, but that there are other ways to blessed with missionary work if I stay. All of my roommates are R.M.'s, so naturally I began taking advantage of the opportunity and began companion study, and also started learning the discussions. At this same time, my best friend of 11 years, departed to the M.T.C. My decision not to go on a mission, has been a tough one. But watching her leave has been tougher. I set up an interview with my bishop and asked about turning in my papers. His counsel was different than I thought it would be, but it felt right when he said it. He told me of all the ways a person can be a missionary, some more important than that of a formal mission. He then advised that I wait a few months, until the dust has settled from Jessica leaving. He said that just because I'm excited about something, doesn't make it right for me. So, who knows. In a couple months, I may find myself turning in my papers. Maybe it's all about me being in a certain mission at a certain time. It's also possible that I find myself staying. Most likely not because I quickly fall in love and meet my eternal companion, but probably more likely because the Lord works in mysterious ways, and someone here needs my influence. I've just begun working at a treatment center for troubled teens, and although I am not permitted to share the gospel with them, each of them are in desperate need of a good example in their lives. It's the most challenging job I have ever had, but also the most rewarding. I've learned so many gospel principles in only the first couple of weeks. Anyway, the reason for this post (I've gotten a little sidetracked), is to post in memory of my best friend. It may be that I live a mission through Jessica's experiences. I know that I am going to thrive off of her letters, and I know that she is going to be amazing. Love ya Jessica!
